my own helpers on whom I could rely to assist me.
2.138.1 It was time for Zedekiah to return to conduct his leather business
which he had been neglecting.
2.139 When the conviction came to me that I would be guided
as to whom to choose, I returned to Capernum.
2.139.1 I felt a strong inclination to go down to the water front
to speak to some men I had seen listening intently to my teachings.
2.139.1.1 Whether they would leave their fishing nets to join me,
remained to be seen.
2.139.1.2 But when I called them, Simon, Andrew, James and John,
they came immediately, happy to help in my work of healing and teaching.
2.139.2 Others also joined me as I began my work amongst the people.
2.140 I left my host, Zedekaih’s house with his warm assurances
I could return at any time.
wandering wherever needed through towns and villages.
2.140.2 Before setting out, I gathered together the young men who had consented
and were eager to help me.
2.140.2.1 They would be listening to my teachings
and would be mystified by much that I wanted to say.
2.141 It was vital I should first explain the background
to all that had been revealed to me in the desert.
2.142 I told them that despite my previously lazy way of life,
I had always had a profound compassion for people.
2.143 It was my compassion that made me turn from the God taught by
the Rabbis. When I spoke of my total rejection of a punishing Jehovah,
I could see the doubt and shock in their faces.
how it was possible to speak of a good God,
when there was so much suffering endured by innocent children.
2.144.1 As I spoke, I saw their faces gradually relax.
2.144.2 I continued to voice my previous doubts and anger until I saw
their expressions change into those of acceptance and then full agreement.
2.145 I discovered I had put to them their own doubts and questions which,
previously, they had never had the courage to put into words.
2.145.1 As we spoke together, I could sense their relief
that they were no longer alone
in their secret resistance to the rabbis’ teachings.
2.146 I told them there came a time when I began to realise ever more clearly
that I was wasting my life.