CHRIST Returns After illumination in the desert
Letter 2 rosepage 72
2.138 The crush became so great, I soon realised I would have to find
my own helpers on whom I could rely to assist me.
2.138.1 It was time for Zedekiah to return to conduct his leather business
which he had been neglecting.
2.138.2 I went away to the hills to pray about choosing disciples.
2.139 When the conviction came to me that I would be guided
as to whom to choose, I returned to Capernum.
2.139.1 I felt a strong inclination to go down to the water front
to speak to some men I had seen listening intently to my teachings. Whether they would leave their fishing nets to join me,
remained to be seen. But when I called them, Simon, Andrew, James and John,
they came immediately, happy to help in my work of healing and teaching.
2.139.2 Others also joined me as I began my work amongst the people.

2.140 I left my host, Zedekaih’s house with his warm assurances
I could return at any time. section sectorial

2.140.1 Thus it was that I commenced my mission as a teacher and healer
wandering wherever needed through towns and villages.
2.140.2 Before setting out, I gathered together the young men who had consented
and were eager to help me. They would be listening to my teachings
and would be mystified by much that I wanted to say.
2.141 It was vital I should first explain the background
to all that had been revealed to me in the desert.

2.142 I told them that despite my previously lazy way of life,
I had always had a profound compassion for people.
2.143 It was my compassion that made me turn from the God taught by
the Rabbis. When I spoke of my total rejection of a punishing Jehovah,
I could see the doubt and shock in their faces.

2.144 At considerable length, I explained that I questioned
how it was possible to speak of a good God,
when there was so much suffering endured by innocent children.
2.144.1 As I spoke, I saw their faces gradually relax.
2.144.2 I continued to voice my previous doubts and anger until I saw
their expressions change into those of acceptance and then full agreement.
2.145 I discovered I had put to them their own doubts and questions which,
previously, they had never had the courage to put into words.
2.145.1 As we spoke together, I could sense their relief
that they were no longer alone
in their secret resistance to the rabbis’ teachings.
2.146 I told them there came a time when I began to realise ever more clearly
that I was wasting my life.