CHRIST Returns Life and Experiences of Jesus
Letter 1 rosepage 30
1.79 I knew that, despite my unruly emotionalism, I had also been born with
a keen intelligence and a gift for insightful, impressive debate which I had used willfully and negatively, leading people into unruly arguments.
1.79.1 I had thrown my talents away by pursuing a life of self-will, idleness
and pleasure. As a result, I had forfeited all respect from others;
neither did I possess any self-respect.
1.80 For the first time, I found this to be intolerable. It occurred to me that,
in the future, I could and must put my natural gifts to better use.
1.80.1 Instead of just making a noise, perhaps I could find a way to lighten
the burdens of those whom I so deeply pitied.
Up to that time, I had been of little practical use to anyone.

1.81 When I entered the water in the River Jordan to be baptized by John,
I expected to feel nothing more than relief that I had, for once,
taken a positive step in reforming my behavior.
I expected to feel a new determination to go home
and astonish my mother and neighbors with my new
kindly attitudes towards them.
1.82 What really happened when John baptized me was an experience
completely different to anything I had ever thought possible.

1.82.1 I felt a great wave of tremendous energy surge through my body.
I was literally stunned by it. As I staggered out of the river,
1.82.2 I felt myself elevated in consciousness in a most extraordinary way.
A great inflow of glowing happiness uplifted me to a state of ecstasy.
I was enraptured and aware of a great Light.
1.83 Stumbling, I moved away from the river and walked and walked,
not knowing where I was going. I continued on, unseeingly, into the desert.
My SIX WEEKS IN THE DESERT were a time of total
inner cleansing of my human consciousness.
1.84.1 Old attitudes, beliefs and prejudices were dissolved.
The time has come for me to share with receptive people
all that I felt, ‘saw’, realised and understood.