CHRIST Returnsthe Reality of Men and Women
Letter 8 rosepage 290
8.110 The mind is usually a bog, a quagmire, of conflicting ideas.
8.110.1 During stress, a person may strive to focus on a life-giving affirmation
or perception but, like a playful puppy tossing a paper bag filled with air,
the thought is soon swept out of mind and the stressful thinking
the person was trying to avoid has once again taken hold.
8.110.2 And so it goes on in the mind, back and forth,
until the person longs to escape the conflict. Your internal dialogue will probably go along lines similar to:

I don't want to get up. I don't want to get breakfast.
I don't want to make sandwiches, I don't want to go to work,
I don't want to meet so-and-so today, I don't want to do the laundry,
I don't want to do this, that and the other.

8.110.3 And so the litany of rejection of life continues with thoroughly
disgruntled people all day long.
However – instead of mentally complaining,
the dialogue may be along the lines of “I don't FEEL like...
8.110.4 All these feelings come from ego-drives which rejects such activities
since they are perceived to be a bore, uncomfortable or a burden. Alternatively, you may wake up and say or feel

It's Saturday, I must hurry and dress and get to the market,
there are things I want to buy. I must get some of those
strawberries before they are sold out.
I must get down to the sales to find some bargains.
I'm going to speak nicely to my husband to give me some money.
I do hope I see Patrick when I go to his office.
I want that new Boss to like me, so I'll work extra hard
and I'll look attractive for him.
I hope my husband buys the new car.
I'm certain I'll find a parking space if I remain positive.
I hope I get a bonus.

8.110.5 All these foregoing ideas come from the ego-bonding impulses.
I want.
8.110.6 You may also string together several bonding and rejection feelings:

I hope my children go to sleep early so that I can relax.
I hate it when they call for water and want me to read to them
when I'm so tired, but
I ought to be a good mother and spend a little time with them.