you allow your soul more breathing space
and room for more active control of your personality.
of vibration and feel a degree lighter within yourself.
8.75.2 By these means you grow psychologically – and spiritually.
8.76 Listen to the feelings of the other person.
8.76.1 Try to restrain your own
and empathise with your sparring partner’s emotions.
Feel his hurt, his indignation, his anxieties.
8.76.2 Put aside your own – and feel his.
(‘His’ represents both genders for brevity.)
8.76.3 Ask yourself – If someone had said or done to you
what you have said or done to the other, how would you feel?
8.76.3.1 If you can set aside your ego sufficiently to be able to consider this,
then you are on the way to overcoming
the kind of ego drive which puts
and is unable to see any other point of view.
8.76.4 Before speaking, calmly wait in silence
until your sparring partner’s ten minutes are fully up –
even if it means he finishes before time
and both of you remain in silence for a while.
heard what he has said and you can understand why he is upset.
8.76.5.1 In that instant of self-control, realise that you have gained
a modicum of control over yourself and
you have taken the first step to healing the situation.
8.76.6 On the other hand – if you have not truly understood what he
has told you then you are mentally blocking something he is saying
which you do not want to hear or receive.
8.76.6.1 Therefore, again, your ego is in control.
8.76.6.2 Control it and invite him to explain further
– and again do your best to put yourself in his place.
Feel his pain. Understand his anger.
8.76.7 When you have received the other person into your understanding
and acknowledged it, his ego defences will begin to lessen,
you will see him begin to relax. Both of you will feel better.